He Prefers History Books, and Biographies

In addition to anonymous on-line readers, I know that these people, at least, follow Finding My Kid:

Ÿ         > high-school classmates,

Ÿ         > my mom,

Ÿ         >  members of our local special-needs community,

Ÿ         > families who use the same doctors and practitioners we use,

Ÿ          > neighbors from our former residence in the City,

Ÿ          > Adrian’s secretary,

Ÿ          > some person who likes to Tweet at me that children can’t recover from autism.

I know that this person, at least, does not follow Finding My Kid:

Ÿ          > my husband, Adrian.

In the past, I’ve been peeved by Adrian’s indifference toward my blog. I ask, “Hey, did you read my post about [whatever I think I’ve written well]?” and Adrian responds, “No. Do you want me to?” I say, “My post about [something that inexplicably comes up in many search engines] has got more hits than usual. Did you like it?” and Adrian responds, “I’m sure I would like it.”

My friend Veronica has a 14-year-old son who is not yet verbal, and occasionally violent. Veronica posts on Facebook daily about her family’s ASD struggles. Last week Veronica asked me why Adrian had “unfriended” her. I called Adrian and inquired. “It’s too much,” he said. “Facebook is my happy place. I want everyone’s life on Facebook to be perfect. I can’t stand reading about autism all the time.”

I’ve realized that probably also explains why Adrian doesn’t read Finding My Kid. By necessity, Adrian lives autism recovery. Martin’s challenges are Adrian’s daily reality. My thoughts on recovery are Adrian’s nighttime pillow talk. (Sad, right?) I am communicative enough at home that Adrian doesn’t need to peruse blog musings to know my thoughts. Also, I run Martin’s autism recovery show, so Adrian doesn’t need to read widely to educate himself on therapies or diets. The reasons that people might follow my blog—wondering how to make recovery work, day-to-day, or searching for treatments, or seeking inspiration, for example—really don’t apply to Adrian. He gets enough autism. Why, when he’s away from Martin, would he want to interject more autism into his day?

Back to Facebook and Veronica: I must teach Adrian how to “unfollow” instead of unfriending, so he doesn’t hurt any feelings. I would write those instructions here, but I’m sure he won’t be reading this.

One thought on “He Prefers History Books, and Biographies

  1. Hello FMK 🙂 I completely understand where your husband is coming from. I have lived with my autoimmune disease for over 25 years now, and as much as I want to find support online, it’s difficult enough to live with this disease, let alone see and hear more of how it’s impacting others.

    I do admire that you are blogging about your life. It’s something I have contemplated for a long time now, but am finding it hard to begin. As much as I want to help others and let them know that they are not alone, a huge part of me just can’t stand to hash out the pains of eczema time and again.

    Wishing you the best. Oh and I am a friend of your brother. The one in CA!

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