I’m the Issue

Back in December, I found myself volunteering at Martin’s class Chanukah party. I read The Runaway Latkes to the class, served latkes—I’d brought Martin’s from home—, and helped Martin’s desk cluster play Chanukah bingo. I also facilitated a dreidl game. Martin played dreidl without incident, but another boy cried or complained every time he had to surrender chips, and finally refused to play any longer, instead yelling, “I’m a sore loser! I’m a sore loser!” I was reminded of when the behaviorist told me, “Martin is not the behavior problem in his classroom.” Overall, the morning went smoothly for Martin, and I felt optimistic.

While I and the other parent volunteers were packing to leave, the teacher called the kids to the rug for another story time. The kids were fussing and settling, and the teacher said above the murmur, “Children! This book is scary! You might want to snuggle up with a good friend!” Everyone squealed and began linking arms into groups of two or three. Tristan immediately grabbed Spencer. Those are two boys I know. Tristan’s mom was born in the same country as Adrian. We have done play dates with Spencer (on a parent-organized, not child-initiated, basis). Martin gravitated to them also, and sat himself very close to Tristan. A second later, Tristan pushed Martin away, and even from the classroom doorway, I heard Martin ask, “Why not? Why can’t I be?” I don’t know exactly what Tristan said to Martin, but given that it followed “. . . snuggle up with a good friend,” I can guess. When I left, Martin was sitting alone, two feet from Tristan and Spencer, listening as the teacher began the scary story.

I worry so much about Martin’s self-esteem. It’s probably what I worry about the most, even more than his attention deficit and immaturity. I wonder how many times per day his self-esteem endures hits like Tristan pushing him away and saying he’s not a friend. The ten or so kids other than Martin at his morning bus stop are all girls, except a boy named Nathan. One of the mothers is pregnant with twins and just found out she’s having a boy and a girl. When she told the bus-stop crowd, Nathan’s mom said, “Oh my gosh, Nathan, are you happy? Finally another boy around the street!” She said this while Martin was standing next to her. Perhaps she confused social challenges with hearing, understanding, inferring.

Seeing the way the world treats Martin has caused me to do some hard reflecting, again, on the way I treat Martin, and how I might also be injuring his self-esteem. Multiple times each day, I become frustrated with Martin for behaviors that are likely outside his control. On any given morning, I might say the following:

-“Martin, why did you spill all the juice? Weren’t you being careful? This is expensive juice.”

-“Martin, I told you to finish eating while I got dressed. You haven’t eaten even one single bite!”

-“Martin, why can’t you just put your shoes on? Feet. Shoes. It isn’t hard.”

-“Martin, we are going to miss the bus! Listen! Pay attention!”

-“Well, that’s it. We’re late. Again.”

Or take this very afternoon, a Monday. I’m going to be honest here, entirely honest, even if doing so brings me to tears while I’m writing: I have been frustrated with Martin since the minute he returned from school. Everything was wrong: Last night I slept only three hours, because I was working on a memo. This afternoon I ended up doing more office tasks than I planned, and my lunch date was more than half an hour late, so I still had to make dinner once Martin was at home. Let me add—Martin had a fantastic weekend. He chatted conversationally, he had no meltdowns, he focused at taekwondo class. So I expected a fantastic today. I knew today would rock. And then it didn’t. Martin cried and complained his way through 40 minutes of homework (worksheets that should have taken no more than 10 minutes), and he still wasn’t done, not even close, when I called him to get ready for taekwondo. I reserved 20 minutes to get us out the door. Twenty minutes to put on a taekwondo uniform and sneakers. And yet we were late. Like junk expands to fill a basement, Martin’s needs expand to overflow whatever time he’s allotted.

My role in all this? I’ve spent the entire afternoon being unreasonable. I’ve told Martin to stop complaining, I’ve grown frustrated, I’ve blamed him for our lateness. I’ve told him to act like an eight-year-old instead of a baby. Once or twice I’ve raised my voice. Constantly I’ve thought, “I would like a glass of wine,” and responded to myself, “A glass of wine will not solve anything,” and then argued with myself, “I think it would.”

My attitude, this afternoon and many mornings, is problematic for two reasons. First, it is unfair unfair to Martin. It’s not that Martin “isn’t being careful”—it’s that his ADHD and lingering coordination issues make him clumsy and distracted. It’s not that Martin “isn’t hurrying”—he lacks the ability to focus. It’s not that Martin is “ignoring me”—listening and paying attention go to the very heart of his disorder. To be sure, some of his conduct may be behavioral. But most of it is not, and it upsets him to be reminded of his shortcomings.

Second, my attitude pretends like I’m not the issue.

If Martin is spilling juice, I am the issue. The juice should be in a safer spot, and in a spill-proof cup.

If Martin isn’t finishing breakfast while I’m getting dressed, I am the issue. I need to get dressed before Martin eats so that I can supervise him.

If we are not getting out of the house on time, I am the issue. If 20 minutes is insufficient time to prepare, then somehow I need (1) to find more time and (2) to organize so that I have nothing to do except shepherd Martin’s preparation. One might argue that Martin needs to be developing more independence; clearly, however, the “independent Martin” strategy is failing at this time. Maybe I can leave one, and only one, task for solo performance: teeth brushing, or bag packing, or sneaker tying. For now, I need to “scaffold” massively (think “build extrastructure”) and withdraw support as Martin’s attending improves.

The truth is—and I think most biomed parents will agree with this—it is very frustrating to spend almost every waking moment working toward recovery and still get hit with waves of perseveration. Still never get out of the house on time. Still wonder why the child never listens. Still endure moments of hopelessness.

But that truth doesn’t excuse me from acting like the grown-up in this relationship.

Epilogue

I wrote this post yesterday, Monday. When Adrian arrived home, I said, “It’s been an afternoon. Will you pour me a glass of white wine?” He noted that the only white wine in the house was a bottle of questionable quality that the pool company had dropped off before Christmas. I told him to proceed. I drank two glasses. I woke at 3:30 am with a headache. I took ibuprofen and went back to sleep, propped on pillows, then managed to oversleep until 6:00 am.

Despite being rushed, I worked swiftly and organized the morning well. Martin cooperated more than yesterday. I was so proud of us when we were ready for the school bus three minutes early.

After Martin departed, I realized I’d forgotten his after-breakfast supplements.

He arrived home with a report saying he’d needed an unusual amount of prompting during the school day, and had refused to participate in Valentine’s activities. Now he’s in taekwondo again, and instead of participating, he’s jumping.

Still, the grown-up in the relationship feels okay. Must be a sleep thing.

img_5483

Martin, at Chicago’s Adler Planetarium. He’s not the issue.

On Food and Genetics, and Judgment

Time to elaborate again on a comment response I made recently.

In response to my post about Martin’s golden week, I received this comment from a reader:

We are not on a biomed path as our son’s extremely restrictive food choices preclude this. Also his autism is visible throughout our family tree and heritable traits probably can’t be eliminated entirely by an altered diet. However our son’s behaviour varies considerably depending on who is looking after him and how secure he feels. Not all sides are helpful . . . while low-sal may well be helping don’t ignore the effect of his environment out of hand. There’s a lovely book called Uniquely Human about this sort of thing [that] might be worth a look. Thanks for writing—we are on a path much more to do with movement than food due to our family’s ASD presentation but we have the same burden of analysis and choices as you seem to! Bonne Chance

This was my response:

Thanks for reading! A few thoughts on your comment: I agree that environment is also relevant, and we pay a great deal of attention to environment and behavioral assists. But seldom (in my experience, never) do they yield an immediate effect; a substitute aide does not make a great day, or week—though a new aide certainly can change the course of the year. In terms of the biomed path, I don’t know of any child whose autism was corrected entirely by an altered diet. Diet is only the foundation of the healing path. Moving along that path requires supplementation, methylation assistance, detoxification, etc., specific to the child.

Genetic and inheritable traits also play a great role in my son’s condition. I would be naïve to think otherwise. Both my brothers have immune disorders, and psychological/psychiatric conditions (which I now would call health conditions) are endemic in my family. That does not mean my son’s autism cannot be lessened, if not resolved, through biomed. Epigenetics, neuroplasticity, and all that I know about the science of healing suggest otherwise.

In terms of your son having extremely restrictive food choices—well, that brings me to a paradox. In my experience working with biomed families, children who restrict their food choices are usually the biggest beneficiaries of biomed, once it gets going. The food aversions, which often have underlying digestive causes, tend to disappear once the irritants are removed from the diet. I would encourage you to give it a try!

But even if it’s not right for your family, that’s okay too. It sounds like you are doing a lot for your son in any event, and I hope it will get him where he needs to be. Whatever approach we take, we are all in this together.

These are the three points I’d like to discuss further:

  1. Picky eating is a reason to pursue biomed and dietary changes, not a reason to discount them.
  2. Genetics don’t always get to write a child’s future, at least not every aspect of the future.
  3. If picky eating or genetics are keeping you from pursuing biomed and/or dietary changes, that’s okay.

As to point 1—“There is no way I could do a gluten-free or dairy-free diet, because my son will eat only cheese tortellini, breaded chicken nuggets, and pretzels.” “I tried a special diet once, and she didn’t eat for three days. Literally. Finally I gave in because she would pass out otherwise.” I hear these statements frequently when other special-needs parents find out that we do biomed. I also hear their corollary, the failure-to-thrive argument: “My son is so skinny and small for his age, even though he eats a ton. I have to give him milkshakes constantly just to keep his weight up.”

Years ago, I attended a presentation by Dr. Arthur Krigsman. (Yes, I know Dr. Krigsman is controversial. At this point, I find that many doctors doing research and providing non-pharmaceutical medical treatment to children with autism are called quacks. I’ve had to get past that and start making my own decisions.) Although biomed parents (as far as I could tell) filled much of the audience, Dr. Krigsman was speaking as part of a panel discussion aimed primarily at physicians, and therefore much of what he said went over my head. I think I understood him to say that many children on the spectrum exhibit lesions and inflammation throughout the digestive tract, including in the esophagus and stomach. Dr. Krigsman calls this condition “autistic enterocolitis.” These lesions, like so much of what affects our children, originate from unbalanced immune response to normal gastrointestinal action. Picky eating, or food aversions, might be a sign of pain from such digestive troubles: Kids express their hurt by avoiding the foods that exacerbate that hurt. In such a scenario, a kid who is not eating, or is severely restricting his own diet, needs biomed. Like, really, really needs biomed, or some form of medical intervention to begin healing the digestive tract.

Speaking from my own experience, when Martin was young, before we started biomed, he “postured”: He would bend forward with his stomach tight and his fists clenched at his side. He also slept with “elevator butt.” (I stole that term from one of my law school classmates, who used to scratch the base of my cat’s tail, then yell “elevator butt!” when the kitty straightened only her back legs.) Martin frequently slept with his face smashed into the mattress and his butt in the air, as if to relieve pressure on his gut. Both the posturing and the elevator butt ceased within a few months of dietary changes. Whether he actually had enterocolitis, or just some lesser form of irritation, I don’t know. But he was in pain, and a restricted diet relieved that pain.

During Dr. Krigsman’s presentation, I couldn’t help but think of “Jonas,” a boy I know with undiagnosed behavioral issues that resemble seizure-related oppositional defiant disorder. At the time, Jonas would eat nothing but processed yogurt drinks or green shakes. I searched for a way to raise the issue of entrocolitis with his mother, a single woman constantly overwhelmed with managing Jonas’s behaviors and shuttling him to various therapies, including eating therapy. I never found the right moment, or non-threatening way, to bring it up. I consider that a shortcoming.

I don’t believe that “autistic enterocolitis” is the only reason a kid on the spectrum might avoid foods. Martin’s friend Bobby, who is on a GFCFSF diet, limits himself even further because of taste and texture issues. He will not eat soft or chewy foods. Martin himself would be happy to repeat his two or three favorite foods every meal. I consider that a form of perseverative behavior. Again, these are issues best addressed (in my world view) through biomedical intervention, to resolve what’s causing the aversions or perseveration—although I don’t discount the complimentary role of behavioral therapy, such as RDI.

As to the child who allegedly needs milkshakes to put on weight, if a boy eats and eats but cannot gain weight or grow taller, plainly he has a health problem that is not being addressed. His body is not processing the food’s nutrition adequately, which means he probably isn’t getting the foods that his body can process. Which brings me to dietary changes . . . .

As to point 2—I have heard from parents who say they don’t have any reason to bother with biomed because genetic mutations are to blame for their child’s autism. I get that. I really do. Once you discover what havoc genes can wreck, it can feel almost pointless to try altering the course. Even without the genetic component, it can feel almost pointless. I’ve been at this six years, and we aren’t “there” yet, wherever the heck “there” is. But consider two factors. First, genetics are often a predisposition, not a path certain. Genetics might set the stage, but environmental factors often raise the curtain. You know my favorite environmental villains: processed foods, glyphosate, pesticides, C-sections, antibiotics, vaccines (gulp! I said it again), pollution. Carrying the silly set-the-stage analogy further—if environmental factors raise the curtain, then altering the environmental factors can change lower it again. Even if, for example, a vaccine activates an MTHFR mutation, interventions to restore the immune system can calm the mutation.

As I wrote in response to the blog comment above, I recognize the role Martin’s genetics played in his development of autism. Without going into too much detail (even though FindingMyKid is written anonymously, I feel icky about compromising privacy), my family has genetic gifts—for example, we are “book smart” and breeze through standardized exams, and we are not prone to obesity—and shortcomings. Both my brothers have immune disorders. The elder suffers from a wide range of food and environmental allergies, plus eczema and chronic bronchitis. The younger has environmental allergies. Long before I produced Martin, I myself fell victim to depression, a disease also prevalent in my husband’s family. There’s addiction on both sides of the family tree. So when it comes to immune and related disorders, genetics were not in Martin’s favor. Genetic testing has confirmed the existence of mutations that make him susceptible to autism.

As I understand the history, decades ago we might have been advised against vaccinating Martin at all, based on immune disorder in the immediate family. Let’s add that Martin’s vaccinations followed Pitocin, loss of heart rate during labor, an unplanned C-section, antibiotics in the NICU, and plenty of immune insults I don’t need to repeat again.

The way that I look at it, Martin’s genetic predisposition to immune disorder made him vulnerable to the effects of environmental factors, and now makes our path to recovery more arduous. But it is no reason to abandon him to (perceived) fate.

Then there’s the matter of epigenetics. According to this helpful webpage, epigenetics is “the study of potentially heritable changes in gene expression (active versus inactive genes) that does not involve changes to the underlying DNA sequence—a change in phenotype without a change in genotype—which in turn affects how cells read the genes.” That means that environmental circumstances can cause genes to be silenced or expressed over time. We can influence which genes express themselves, and how. I’d like to seize that power, to whatever extent I manage.

As to point 3—I’ve said this from time to time, and it bears repeating: You don’t need to approach autism biomedically to be my friend. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? Because this is a blog about biomedical recovery from autism, and because I unabashedly favor biomed, I worry that I must come off as an intolerant person. Since FindingMyKid is written anonymously, I have to ask you to take my word for this: My blog personality and my live personality are different. By now, a large percentage of my acquaintance comprises families affected by autism. Half of those families, I estimate, are pursuing biomedical recovery. The others are not. It’s like having friends who don’t love the New York Rangers, or even hockey in general. I prattle about the Rangers, they listen kindly, and then we find connection in whatever petty topics non-hockey people enjoy. When it comes to friends who have children on the spectrum but don’t pursue biomed, I answer questions (when asked) about what we are up to, I ask what they are up to, and we find connection in the stuff we both know, like sleepless nights, IEP meetings, adaptive sports.

I had the advantage of implementing dietary changes when Martin was just two years old, when he was more malleable. Maybe you don’t want to change your child’s diet because he’s picky, or underweight, or you’re skeptical about biomed. Or maybe dietary changes are too much to manage with a large family, or small budget, or unsupportive co-parent. Maybe knowing your child’s genetic make-up has convinced you that biomed interventions would be fruitless. Maybe you are making satisfactory progress with behavioral therapies. That is totally fine.

Judgment does not become us.

Opposite Direction

We had that one golden week, immediately after I switched Martin to low-salicylate diet.

The next week wasn’t so good.

This week isn’t so good.

You know what I mean by “not so good”: lots of silliness, little concentration, some meltdowns.

We are still doing low-sal.

I can’t identify any environmental changes since golden week.

What is different is that we are, again, increasing the anti-microbials in Martin’s protocol, trying to reach what his doctor considers full dose.

Martin’s system is sensitive and reactive. I begin to doubt whether we will ever make it to full dose.

I’m going to try an experiment, this week: I’m going to reference Martin’s protocol sheets (I print them at home and keep them all, of course) from our ski week and from the golden week. Whatever dose of each antimicrobial Martin had those weeks, he shall have this week.

I’m writing this at Martin’s taekwondo class. I’m watching him focus on nothing. I’m looking at a kid with half the attention span he had two weeks ago.

And so for a little while, I don’t care whether we are working to reach full dose of antimicrobials.

I just want another golden week.

I’m Ignoring Politics by Writing a Wistful Post Instead

Last weekend we went skiing at Jiminy Peak with Martin’s friend Bobby, his neurotypical brother Adam, and their parents. Martin and Bobby took their ski lessons with Stride Adaptive Sports, a terrific organization similar to the National Ability Center, our Utah mainstay.

Monday morning (no school, for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day), I retrieved Martin after his lesson and chatted with the instructor.

“Your son is an absolute pleasure to work with,” the instructor said. “He’s so talkative. He could be a New York City tour guide!”

That cuts both ways. Martin is obsessed with trains and landmarks, and the location of both. “Mommy, the Chrysler Building is north of the Empire State Building. The Empire State Building is on the same road as the entrance to the Queens-Midtown tunnel. The bottom of Central Park is where Midtown becomes Uptown.”

I said, “Thank you. We’ve worked really hard on his speech and language.”

“Saturday, I had two lessons with boys who were basically non-verbal.” The instructor shook his head. “I just couldn’t break through to them.”

It’s hard to convey the tone the instructor used when he said he “couldn’t break though to them.” He wasn’t speaking scornfully, or with pity, or even with sadness. It was more like he was disappointed in himself, and wished the situation had been otherwise.

I started to say, “I understand.”

But I stopped myself.

Because I can’t understand. Not any of this mess.

The Facts of Life

If you’re my age (sorry!) and grew up in the States, you probably know the tune to these lyrics:

You take the good, you take the bad

You take them both and there you have

The facts of life, the facts of life.

 There’s a time you got to go and show

You’re growin’ now you know about

The facts of life, the facts of life.

When the world never seems

To be livin’ up to your dreams

And suddenly you’re finding out

The facts of life are all about you.

How long have you been reading this blog? If it’s a while, then you’ve experienced the good and the bad. You know that, over six years, Martin has moved from virtually no functional language or eye contact to a kid whose social awkwardness is primarily the inability to shut up. Early on, he was removed from a twelve-student, two-instructor preschool class because he wasn’t up to the task. Now he’s in a 22-student, one-teacher mainstream classroom, albeit with an aide. You also know that the path has been beset with obstacles: frustration, setbacks, inexplicable ROOS.

After we switched to a low-salicylate diet, Martin soared. Every day last week, we received a “best ever”-type report from school. His meltdowns reduced by 90%, I estimate. Though he continued perseverating/obsessing about New York City landmarks and trains (not unusual for kids with spectrum challenges), he was able to snap out of it when requested. Over the weekend, we went skiing with friends. Martin played with their typically developing, seven-year-old son, and his ski instructors referred to working with him as “a joy.”

. . . Which brings us to yesterday, Wednesday. No stellar report came from school. The across-the-board 5’s from his Friday report gave way to a crop of more-usual 2’s and 3’s. Martin came off the bus happy but talking nonsense (“Blurb the dinosaur is on the bus and he might eat us! Look out, it’s a birdjay!”). He spent his trombone lesson dancing about and lying on the floor, challenging even his patient instructor. Then he conducted a 90-minute tantrum based on my refusal to give him an iPad until his math homework was done. (Once he decided to stop crying and do the math ditto, he completed it in approximately 45 seconds. Forty-five tear-filled seconds.) He woke during the night, for three hours. This morning his behaviorist reported that he seemed “off” and “someplace else,” that he was acting goofy, that his fingers were in his nose, or in his pants.

PANDAS flare? I don’t think of Martin as a PANDAS kid, but—. Parasite activity? The full moon was last week, not this week. Detoxing? Increasing MC-Bar-1™ too quickly? Mold exposure? Dietary infraction? Mast cell party? I’ve also been unfocused and “off” this week. Adrian says he has, too. After a terrible report on Martin’s day, his behaviorist followed up with this text: “That said, I’ve been bombarded with phone calls this week. Everyone off.” So who the hell knows?

I texted back: “On a positive note, we have seen a real decrease in meltdowns. I hope that is carrying over to school.”

She replied: “No meltdowns reported or documented.”

I said: “I’m going to hang onto the positive, in that case.”

You take the good, you take the bad

You take them both and there you have

The facts of life, the facts of life.

Boom! Booh-Yah!

I got around to posting “Eureka!,” about Martin’s potential salicylate intolerance, only yesterday. I try to keep Finding My Kid as current as possible. Alas, in this case, I’m behind schedule; we’ve already been doing the low-salicylate diet for a week-and-a-half, since Tuesday afternoon, January 3.

Last week, the first week, Martin seemed better than when we were skiing. The difference was mostly ephemeral, so I wasn’t sure if I might be imagining a change, to fit my own salicylate narrative. He had fewer meltdowns, I thought. He seemed more connected. But he was still perseverating plenty, so I wasn’t sure. The weekend went well. My brother Eddie came for a visit, with the express purpose of taking Martin to the City to do whatever he wanted. The two of them were gone all day, Saturday. Eddie reported no problems.

Then came Monday, the seventh day of a low-salicylate diet for Martin. To my surprise, Martin came home from school with a special note from his teacher, which read, “Mrs. N— is so proud of my amazing day! Martin worked so hard and had a wonderful day!” The note was accompanied by a math test—all word problems—on which Martin had scored 100%, and because that night’s homework was “correct the math problems you missed,” Martin had no homework. Monday afternoon, Martin went to his taekwondo class and performed—not “well,” per se, but better than usual.

Tuesday, I accompanied Martin’s class on a field trip. Martin was clingy, from the unusual circumstance of having me near him during a school event. I wouldn’t say he had a fabulous day. He melted down during a presentation by a museum administrator, who summoned several children as volunteers but refused to call upon not the over-enthusiastic Martin.

Wednesday I received a text from Martin’s behaviorist, who was in the classroom: “Another great day again. More independence, better attention, quicker work completion, better staying on task, increase in social initiation.” Wednesday afternoon came another note in Martin’s backpack, from his teacher. This one, which was on his daily evaluation sheet (the Monday note was on a regular blank page) read: “Martin had an amazing day today! So proud of him J —Mrs. N—.” In the row for “Partner Work” was an additional note: “worked really well with his math partner!”fullsizerender-4

Thursday brought another victory. The note, on Martin’s daily evaluation sheet, read: “Super day today, again! Mrs. N— is so proud of Martin! J” In the row for “Partner Work” was written “Great partner work today,” with a smiley face formed from two exclamation points.fullsizerender-6

Thursday evening, after work, I spent an evening on the town with a group of fellow special-needs moms, and Adrian was in South America on business, so Martin’s babysitter Samara stayed with him. Samara was preparing dinner when Martin took snuck into the kitchen and stole an organic mango Samara had peeled and sliced for herself. Samara texted me immediately to say Martin had eaten the mango while she was distracted and she hoped it wouldn’t interfere with his new diet. After a flurry of iPhone research, I replied, “Good news! I just looked mango up, and it’s ‘moderate’ salicylate—so not good but not as bad as it could be.”

Apparently, however, it was enough. At 9:13 pm, Samara texted me, “He is still awake but in bed already. He’s laughing for no reason. Sí. I guess it was the mango.” Martin was still awake when I arrived home after 10:00 pm. I went to check on him and found him in the laundry bin in his bathroom. I asked, “What on earth are you doing?” He replied, “Well, I’m sitting here in this laundry bin.”

Given Thursday night’s post-mango escapades—as far as I can tell, Martin fell asleep around 10:40 pm, some three hours after bedtime—I feared that Friday might be rough. No indeed. This daily evaluation sheet came home:fullsizerender-5

Please, examine that sheet carefully. The daily evaluation sheet that Martin’s behaviorist devised rates him in various categories—“followed routine directions,” “raised hand and waited to be called on,” &c.—on a scale from 1 to 5. A 1 means “heavily prompted.” A 5 represents “excellent independence,” or as the behaviorist described it to me, a 5 means that Martin performed on an independence level similar to any other kid in his (mainstream) class. Friday’s evaluation sheet rated Martin a 5 in every category, both morning and afternoon. That means, on Friday, according to Martin’s teacher, Martin performed at a level similar to any other kid in his mainstream class. A level similar to every other kid. The evaluation was accompanied by yet another handwritten note: “Another amazing day today! ❤ So proud of you!!”

Let me add, if I may, that I do not usually receive handwritten notes from Martin’s teacher. Each of these was special, and unique.

Now, there are caveats. First, I have not been seeing the same kind of super-improvement at home, or in Martin’s after-school activities. His meltdowns have decreased, homework is going well, and he seems less irritable. But I would not affix an “amazing” label to his home behavior. Maybe he’s taking advantage of me. Second, Martin has been having trouble falling asleep. This week he was up until 9:40 pm, 10:30 pm, even near midnight once. As a result, he’s been tired and lacking some focus. So I can’t say everything is fabulous. In any event, at school the trajectory is upward. Dramatically upward, apparently.

Here’s a funny addendum. At least it’s funny to me, and probably to other biomed parents. Wednesday, Martin’s behaviorist, who knows we do biomed, texted me from his classroom, which she visits once per week. She wrote: “Another great day again. More independence, better attention, quicker work completion, better staying on task, increase in social initiation. Supplements kicking in? Only difference here is aide is out again.” With that last sentence, she meant Martin’s one-on-one aide, who was absent all week with flu.

I wrote back: “No—believe it or not, over Christmas break, I think I discovered that Martin is salicylate-intolerant. I’ve been cutting all salicylates from his diet—and now these results.”

The behaviorist responded: “I can’t keep up with all his allergies and intolerances anymore. What can this poor kid eat?”

I explained what salicylates are and assured her that Martin is still finding plenty to eat (more on that later). Then I expressed my enthusiasm for how much this new dietary tweak seemed to be helping.

The behaviorist, evidently skeptical, went in a different direction: “The other variable is the teacher and I are really trying to pull Martin’s aide back further. She goes through periods of hovering. And I think it stresses him out. The substitute aide isn’t being utilized very much. I think the more freedom relaxes him and that could be the factor as well.”

Aha! Martin’s school performance just bumped not because we discovered a salicylate intolerance and took action, but because he has a substitute aide. Cue the eye roll.

Eureka!

Salicylates.

They are the compounds in many plant foods that keep them from spoiling. Most fruits, and some vegetables, are salicylate-rich, as are virtually all spices, with turmeric/curry being among the worst offenders. Animal products (meat, eggs, dairy) are low-salicylate unless they’re spiced or cured. According to my research so far, just about anything fermented is high-salicylate.

According to “drugs.com,” salicylates (in their synthetic form?) do more than delay food rot:

Salicylates are nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. They inhibit the synthesis of prostaglandin and other mediators in the process of inflammation and have anti-inflammatory, antipyretic and analgesic properties. Salicylates can be used to reduce fever, pain and inflammation such as in arthritis.

In any event, salicylates can cause food sensitivities. The Feingold Diet, an elimination diet popular among parents of children with behavioral challenges, recommends cutting salicylates (along with additives, colorings, and other irritants) then trying higher-salicylate foods one-by-one to test tolerance levels. I’ve found a handful of websites dedicated to low-sal diets—that’s the lingo, apparently, to avoid pronouncing “salicylate” constantly—including this one and this one. Some people try, miraculously, to manage a low-sal SCD regimen.

The last week of 2016, we were skiing again, in Park City, Utah. Christmas day we flew from New York City to Salt Lake City and spent the night in a downtown hotel. The next morning we drove to Park City and picked up our rental skis. That afternoon, as Martin took a lesson at the National Ability Center and Adrian skied a few initial runs, I went to the Whole Foods Market and stocked up to cook for seven days. We reconvened at our rented condominium, had dinner, and hit the sack.

Martin had been having a troublesome few months, as you may know. When Martin is having a tough time, even if he’s sleeping well (which, these days, he almost invariably is), I often find myself awake during the night, fretting. Such was the case that first night in Park City. I woke around 3:30 am (which is 5:30 am in New York, just about when I usually get up) and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I moved to the sofa with my iPad and started reading.

I’m not sure why I felt compelled to navigate directly to salicylates. I’d thought about salicylates once or twice in the distant past and, for whatever reason, not pursued the topic, probably because I was onto some other next big thing. But this occasion, in the wee hours on a Park City sofa, I read a page about salicylate sensitivity, then another. And another. And another. I read about hyperactivity. Anxiety. Sensitivity. Uncontrollable laughter.

I thought, “This sounds like Martin. This sounds a lot like Martin.”

Martin’s diet has been clean for years. We’ve done GAPS, modified GAPS, SCD, and custom variations to account for mitochondrial dysfunction. We’ve made much progress toward heal Martin’s gut; he no longer “postures,” his belly is flat, his bowel movements are works of art. Still, he exhibits physical manifestations that may be food-related, like occasional shiners and visible inflammation. I’ve taken him recently for allergy testing, both traditional and naturopathic. I’ve discovered the beef allergy and a few others, including horses (riding them, not eating them, though there was once an unfortunate incident in South America when Martin ate some jerky after I failed to recognize the local word for “horse”). I avoid what I’m told to avoid.

But I’ve never put Martin on a low-sal diet.

By this time it was 4:30 am. I texted my friend Stacey, “I think Martin might be salicylate-intolerant. I really think I might be onto something.”

Her reply came hours later, when we were already skiing: “I don’t even know what that means, but hey glad you’re getting somewhere.” To the extent one can hear frustration in a text message, I heard some frustration in hers. I know she’s been having an even tougher time with her son, and feeling like they aren’t making much progress toward recovery.

That evening, I texted back, truthfully: “At the moment, I’m getting nowhere. He’s a complete disaster today.” I mean, why did you think I was texting you about salicylates at 4:30 am? “But I’m going to try removing salicylates from his diet and see what happens.”

I couldn’t put my low-sal plan into effect immediately. I’d already spent hundreds of dollars at the Whole Foods Market, stocking us up for the week. I had freeze-dried pineapple (high-sal!), fresh sweet potatoes (high-sal!), Lärabars (dates and almonds, high-sal!), coconut oil (extra high-sal!). Plus, I couldn’t find just one website that compiled all the salicylate contents that I needed to know about. Nori seaweed? Ground flax meal? Kohlrabi? Who could give me these important facts? I spent my evenings, after skiing and cooking, surfing around to put together the most comprehensive list I could. Different sources even disagreed on the salicylate content in some foods, like cauliflower and parsley.

I searched for a low-sal cookbook and finally located one, which needed to be sent from New Zealand. I ordered it immediately.

I returned to the Whole Foods Market and picked up lower-sal safflower oil—the store didn’t have the sunflower oil I was looking for—and white potatoes for breakfast. For the ski week, I managed what I would call “reduced-salicylate” but not “low-salicylate.” Martin had turkey bacon (unacceptable for celery salt and spices) and bison hot dogs (same), plus carrots and other medium-sal veggies. His mountainside snacks were still the nut- and seed-based products I’d brought to Utah or purchased on-site, though I did make an effort to send the cashew (low-sal) versions instead of the almond (high-sal) versions.

Our second-to-last morning in Utah, when I was almost out of food, I made Martin a “breakfast tortilla,” which was peanut butter spread between two almond tortillas and fried. Peanut butter is medium-salicylate, and almonds are high-salicylate, making this breakfast the largest serving of salicylates he’d had all week. Midway through breakfast, Martin started laughing. Laughing so hard he could barely get food into his mouth. Laughing so hard he needed to leave the table to jump. Martin laughs inappropriately, often. But this was of a new magnitude.

I asked him what was going on. He replied, “I don’t know! I can’t stop laughing!”

Uncontrollable laughter. Was this salicylate-related? When Adrian emerged, from the shower, I relayed what had happened. He could also see for himself, as Martin was still laughing. We decided immediately to explore a low-sal diet to the fullest. Adrian said, “I support this. Let me know what you need from me.”

We arrived home late Monday night, January 2. Tuesday morning, I went shopping. This first shopping venture in the low-sal world felt strange. Martin will be eating starchy foods he loves that previously I kept in strict moderation, like potatoes and rice. For cooking, the only plant-based oils I use at home have been raw coconut and extra-virgin oil, both of which are extremely high-sal; now, along with rendered animal fat, I am urged to use sunflower or rice-bran oil, and even (gasp!) the refined forms. Honey, with all its beneficial properties, is out now, even manuka honey. Lower-sal sweeteners are the more refined forms, like sugar cane. (No way. I’ll be sticking to maple syrup and maple sugar, which are allowed.) No more fruit, except papayas, bananas, peeled pears, and peeled golden delicious apples.

Of course, I wonder why Martin is salicylate-sensitive now (if in fact I’m correct). Has he always been this way? Is it new? Will I ever know? Martin is a never-ending series of “why now?”

The cookbook from New Zealand arrived quite promptly, considering the distance it had to travel. I opened it with alacrity, ready to get to work.

. . . And found that virtually every recipe contains (gluten) flour or dairy. Most recipes contain both.

Looks like I’m back to improvising.