Not Going So Well

Promises do nothing for me.

I don’t believe anyone who assures me s/he can achieve a particular goal with Martin. I’ve admitted that I’m a skeptic. Hearing that a treatment definitely will help Martin, or that Martin certainly will recover, increases that skepticism. Team Martin has no room for promisors.

This week we visited Martin’s excellent Track Two doctor, and—though I of course prefer upbeat news—it was not unwelcome when she admitted that Martin seems less physically healthy, and more autistic, than he did during our August visit. Indeed, her words confirmed my own observations (as I’ve written); any other assessment would have left me suspicious. She even pointed out some symptoms I’d not yet noticed, such as visual self-stimming.

I have nothing against reality. I can’t hope to coordinate Martin’s recovery if I don’t see the bad and the ugly infringing the good.

Here’s an uncensored account of where we stand: According to the doctor, Martin exhibits less “spark” than over the summer. His eye contact has faded along with his name responsiveness. His belly, which had flattened, is distended again. What I thought were self-inflicted scratches resulting from yeasty itchiness (which also is present) instead appears to be a rash, possibly from exuding toxins/pathogens through the skin. He is self-stimming more, his muscle tone has slackened, and he’s again cycling in and out of lethargy.

Yeah.

I’m relieved to report that the doctor’s evaluation included an action plan along with the bummer news. We got the yeast under control earlier this year; we may have taken Martin off the yeast-fighters too early. He’s going back on them now. For the next few months, we’re going to concentrate on annihilating yeast overgrowth again, and on starting bio-film work. Martin’s tests have revealed bajillions of pathogens in his gut. They’re suspected to be hiding in and below bio-film, the pissant little bastards. I wish I had a teeny-tiny Lilliputian-to-a-Lilliputian Glock with which I could take out yeast flora and gut pathogens. Alas, instead I have the likes of Yeast Aid and saccharomyces boulardii.

So that’s where we stand, warts and all.

Am I discouraged? Daily. Am I encouraged? With every glimpse of where we can get to.

However infrequent, right now, those glimpses may be.

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