We go home tomorrow, Adrian and I. We’ve been away just over a week. I was determined to post every day this vacation, and except for yesterday, I managed. Yesterday we visited Yad Vashem, Israel’s center for Holocaust documentation, research, education and commemoration. What we saw there made my work with Martin feel almost petty by comparison. I took the night off from writing.

Today I spent longing for Martin—his scent, his charm, his antics. Apart from the alarming reports of tantrums, news from home has been upbeat. Martin has slept through every night while we’ve been away, eaten well, and achieved some new proprioception milestones. He appeared happy to return to school this morning. He may understand that he’ll see me and Adrian tomorrow night.

If we arrive home and find Martin in as good shape as we left him, I may loosen up a teeny-tiny bit. I may agree that others can manage Martin’s recovery needs, at least in short doses. Indeed, although Adrian doesn’t know yet (he will as soon as he reads this post), I have big plans involving him: If my mother could learn and accomplish Martin’s entire daily supplementation routine, Adrian can certainly master the morning routine. And if Adrian can manage the morning supplementation routine, then one weekend I can prepare Martin’s breakfast the night before, trust Adrian to administer the pills and oils, and sleep in.

Yes, maybe I can sleep in.

The dream is bold. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.