We’re in the process of finding a kindergarten for Martin. I’m touring schools, asking questions, completing neuropsychological examinations, filling out applications.

It’s an awkward process, for two reasons.

First, we can’t predict where Martin will be in a year. He’s made so many advances recently, accelerating over the last two months since we began Anat Baniel Method therapy. Right now we’re searching private, special-education schools, either specifically for children on the autism spectrum or for children with various special educational needs. I’m having trouble discerning what support Martin will need ten months from now—what size his class should be, with how many teachers, and what type of peers. Adrian and I want Martin to receive as much help as necessary, for as long as necessary. On the other hand, we want him to have the benefit of peers functioning about where he is, linguistically and socially. Hello, moving target.

Second, Adrian and I aren’t sure where our family will be in a year, geographically speaking. The suburbs have moved from a knee-jerk no to a real possibility, for reasons I’ll explain in a later post. At the same time, we feel that the very best schools for kids on the spectrum are in the City. The whole situation is a chicken-egg dilemma: Where he gets into school influences where we want to live, and where we want to live influences where we want him to get into school. What a mess.

We’re in suspension. Our life is in suspension.

The kindergarten-admissions process is a microcosm of our lives. We have no idea where Martin is headed, long-term. We believe he will recover from autism. We don’t know when, and there are no guarantees.

We’re trying to plan a future like driving through a foggy valley, with no idea what we’ll find when the fog lifts.

3 thoughts on “Suspension

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