“Martin’s progress has slipped a little.”
That’s a euphemism for reality. It means Martin is having a crap week.
I write a lot about this topic, I know. When Martin suddenly looks less like a kid on the path to recovery, and more like a kid with autism, when he tanks, when it all goes to pot, when dinner and bedtime just are not going to happen without a glass of wine (for me, not for Martin), I blog. I blog because I owe you the whole story, because it’s cathartic, and because misery loves company. (These posts tend to generate more messages than any others. Need to talk? Have at it: email@example.com. Or use the comments section.)
Martin had been doing so well lately, right up till this weekend. Saturday we invited a local family over to swim. They have two kids, age four and almost-six. I’ve known this family for about a year, from church. I know the mother better than the father. Halfway through the afternoon, the father apologized to me for not realizing that Martin has autism. He was surprised when his wife mentioned, on their way to our house, that Martin follows a special diet to alleviate autism. He’s seen me helping Martin around the other kids at church. He always just assumed that my son was shy, or nervous because he doesn’t know the other kids well.
Apologizing? Because you see Martin every week and didn’t realize he has autism? Thank you, but really, no apology necessary.
Sunday afternoon we went to a birthday party. Martin willingly joined a game of tag with the birthday boy and a few other friends. Sunday evening Martin was disappointed that Adrian couldn’t come out to dinner with us because he had a conference call. The call finished earlier than expected, and Adrian surprised us by showing up during the entrée course. Martin, visibly excited, exclaimed, “Oh, you came! I’m so happy!” A friend, visiting for the weekend, who hasn’t seen us in several months, remarked on Martin’s uptick in verbal skills.
We rocked the weekend. Then all hell broke loose.
Sunday night Martin had trouble getting to sleep. Monday morning he slipped into unfocussed silliness. Monday afternoon, at a playdate, he cried and stomped for 20 minutes when I refused to say we could get a chalkboard at home. (I’m scared of chalkboards. Better just to leave that one alone.) Tuesday we received a note from school that Martin was acting defiant and attention-seeking, and that he had hit a teacher. (We jumped all over that one. Martin spent Tuesday evening writing an apology to his teachers.) The highlight of my Wednesday was Martin throwing himself onto the Stop-N-Shop floor and screaming, “I don’t want to buy any fooooooooood!” (As a sign of how far I’ve come regarding public embarrassment: I spent that minute or so, while he was screaming on the floor, searching my purse for my grocery list. Where is that list? How could I have misplaced it so quickly? Wait, is that my kid terrorizing aisle 24?) Through all these incidents, Martin’s language skills, so strong this summer, failed him. He repeated himself, went rote, even babbled. And yet, except for sleeping, he hasn’t stop talking since Monday morning. Just talking and talking and talking and talking. Point, or no point. Accentuated here and there with loud, forced laughing.
Why? What transforms a close-to-typical-child weekend into a thought-we-were-past-these-symptoms week?
After three-and-a-half years of biomed, I’m finally getting the hang of recognizing the likely causes of backsliding. This week, it seems, we’re dealing with yeast die-off. Several weeks ago I began seeing the harbinger of yet another yeast flare. I’ll spare you the details of that harbinger; suffice to say, it’s poop-related. Candex, an enzymatic formulation, has been controlling Martin’s yeast. Last week, Martin’s biomed doctor and I decided to increase the daily Candex dose, and I started that process Thursday evening.
Increased Candex leads to decreased yeast. Decreased yeast means yeast die-off. That’s a toxin in the system, almost like alcohol. It can make a kid silly, or angry, or irritable. That’s happening to Martin now. In tandem with these behaviors, the aforementioned yeast-flare harbinger (okay, fine: the unusual poop) is fading.
Yesterday morning I signed on to one of my autism-recovery groups and saw this post from a fellow mom:
We’re on week three of nystatin for yeast. These past five days I’m pretty sure we’ve been dealing with die-off. Behavior has been super hyper, nonstop talking/making noise, fake laughing a lot, not listening at all, emotional outbursts, no attention to tasks AT ALL, itching??
Yes. Yes! I cyber-shouted. That’s yeast die-off. I’m right there with you, sister.
Understanding the physical cause of Martin’s, ahem, “slip in progress” helps me see that the behaviors are not within his control, and indeed that my little boy probably feels as agitated, flummoxed, and eager to alleviate this situation as I do. Understanding the physical cause also helps me see that darling, recovering Martin will return.