As consistent FindingMyKid readers may know, I believe Martin’s primary challenge, these days, to be anxiety. Before I dive back into anxiety, here’s an abbreviated rundown of other challenges and where they stand now:
- We have the rare night when he’s giggly and detox-y, or too anxious to drift off. By and large, however, Martin falls asleep within 20 minutes and wakes ten (or so) hours later.
- Martin’s difficulties with social/pragmatic language persist, and his language processing lags; he might transpose “you” and “I” in a complicated sentence, or need a multi-step direction repeated. Other than that, Martin can read, hear, and speak at an age-appropriate level.
- Energy and “floppiness.” Martin does get tired faster than other kids (thank you, mitochondrial dysfunction!), and when the energy runs out, he becomes clumsy, clingy, and sensory-seeking. This condition is improving and can, I find, be managed by alternating exercise and down-time.
- As may be clear from the series of school bullying posts, Martin’s interest in playing with other kids has increased—it still isn’t very high, and I suspect he may always tend toward introversion (like I do)—but he has trouble figuring out how to go about becoming involved.
- Example: In the house next to ours in Nicaragua are twin boys, maybe six or seven years old. We hear them playing in their pool constantly. Martin will creep to the edge of the yard and observe without making any effort to engage them, and he scampers inside when I suggest talking to the brothers. I mentioned this to Samara, who said, “I know. He does not like to be told to play. But I have noticed him getting closer to a few kids from camp.” His interactions are cautious and time-consuming.
- Martin continues to perseverate, in the sense of “talking endlessly about what interests only him.” The perseveration has lessened from the days when he simply could not stop speaking. Now it’s more like memorizing city skylines and assuming everyone else wants to talk about them, too.
- Repetitive behavior. As for physically repetitive behavior, occasionally Martin still jumps, or hops three times and runs one direction, then hops three times and runs back the other direction. The difference is that now he recognizes the behavior, and makes explanations, like, “I’m getting my jumps out so I’ll be able to stay still for taekwondo.”
But then there’s anxiety, the mountain so insurmountable that it’s driving me and Adrian to consider medical marijuana. For months, Martin has been clenching his fists, forcing his lower jaw forward, shouting, crying, opposite-talking (“I’m never using my iPad again! Throw it away! No, Mommy, don’t throw it away!”), and generally controlling our family time with his meltdowns (or threats thereof).
I’ve been hoping that moving to Nicaragua for a few months would alleviate Martin’s anxiety.
Three weeks into our summer, I’m pleased to report that I see progress.
We’ve had two very-high anxiety (and crabbiness) events. The first was July 4. We’d been in Nicaragua only three days. Adrian suggested a trip to Granada, a two-hour drive. Martin hated everything about the journey, couldn’t stop asking what we were doing and when we were going home, whimpered and whined through a boat tour on Lake Nicaragua.
After that, Martin did comparatively well until last Sunday, when he and I and a visiting friend made a day trip to Ometepe Island. Sunday morning was nothing short of a disaster. Even before we boarded the ferry at San Jorge, Martin sank into meltdown mode. The situation worsened when we arrived in Moyogalpa and found the driver we’d pre-arranged for an island tour. In the back seat, Martin lost control. He clenched his fists and jaw, lashed out at me, and screamed in English, “We’re never leaving Ometepe! Now we live here! Now we’ll be here forever!”—to the bewilderment of our driver, who spoke only Spanish. With effort, I got Martin calm enough to proceed through a butterfly sanctuary and then take a hike in the adjacent woods. Thank goodness we took that short hike. Something about the muddy path relaxed Martin. He went ahead of me and my friend (which I didn’t love, because we could hear Congo monkeys barking in the trees, and I had no idea whether they were dangerous) until he reached a clearing with a view of the lake. There he stopped and waited for us, and even posed for a couple pictures before declaring himself the “leader” and heading onward. Although Martin never got comfortable, the day improved from that clearing onward, at least until an arduous and uncomfortably overcrowded ferry ride back, which made him sensory-seeking.
Those two events—Granada and Ometepe—notwithstanding, Martin has relaxed in Nicaragua. Somewhat. He’s still thrusting his lower jaw forward (if I can get him to chew gum, that helps) but not clenching his fists or complaining quite as much. He’s been speaking well to adults, even introducing himself. Day camp seems to be going well. We haven’t had many tears this week.
I’m noodling what might explain the limited improvement:
Limited social pressure. Without school, and especially until day camp started earlier this week, Martin didn’t have the same pressure to socialize.
Relaxed mom. We all know that I’m usually half the problem (if not more) when it comes to anxiety. With less on my agenda (I’m trying to cut down on work for the summer), and plenty of rest, I’m pretty chill.
Health. I don’t love Martin’s diet here. With less variety, he’s eating too many carbs (rice) and other sugars (fruits). On the other hand, I’m pleased with his regular ocean romps and exercise, including day camp, taekwondo, trekking, and pool swimming.
Biomed protocol. We continue treating Lyme disease and babesiosis, and we are ramping up the protocol Martin’s doctor set in June, which includes MC-Bab-2, Sida, and pau d’arco. Often we see improvement as we head into a new protocol.
We saw some anxiety this morning, as today was Martin’s first day-camp field trip—back to Granada, of all places! Stay tuned to FindingMyKid for additional Nicaraguan dispatches, including a follow-up on anxiety.