Instead of Making

To the outside observer, I gather, it seems like I do everything for Martin. Food-wise, at least. I prepare three meals a day from scratch. I buy eggs and meat from farms. In the summer I grow vegetables and herbs. I simmer broth, I pre-sprout beans, I soak and dehydrate nuts, I bake magical allergen-free snacks to send to school.

Let me assure my readers, however, that there are foody activities that I forego. That is, as a general rule, if I can buy a food from a source I trust, I do. I could save money—the grocery bill of a biomed family is out-of-control huge—by actually making everything at home, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Examples:

  • Kombucha. I brew my own kombucha. I have a countertop canister and a strong SCOBY, and each time I harvest, I feed the baby SCOBY to my compost bin. So what’s the problem? Well, I drink a lot of kombucha, Martin drinks kombucha, I don’t harvest my brew as often as I should, and what I make never tastes as good as GT’s or Health-Ade. So I brew kombucha and I also buy kombucha. Bottles and bottles of kombucha.
  • Nut cheese. Cultured cashew cheese isn’t hard to make. Here’s a recipe. And another. And another. You know what’s even easier than making cultured cashew cheese? Buying it. Here’s a good brand. And another. And another. (Don’t confuse cultured nut cheese, which is probiotic and healthy, with simple “non-dairy cheese,” which is often starchy junk food that, in my opinion, tastes awful.)
  • Fermented vegetables. I went through a phase of fermenting my own vegetables, in jars in my basement, especially because I wanted more choices than just cabbage sauerkraut. Now there are so many organic brands with non-sauerkraut ferments. BAO makes fermented kale and dandelion greens, beets, and mixed vegetables. Hawthorne Valley Farm, a local brand, has tasty ginger carrots. WildBrine makes smoky fermented kale and red beet sauerkraut, although not all its varieties are organic (I believe they follow the “dirty dozen” list and make those organic) and the Brussels sprout kraut contains soy, making it unacceptable for Martin.
  • Snacks. Martin prefers commercial snacks. He likes to open colorful wrappers, and he likes eating “store food” like his friends and classmates do. His favorite are Lärabars. I have a tortured relationship with Martin’s Lärabars. First, they are not organic, so I fear pesticide residue. Second, their GMO status is unclear. Third, they are high in sugar, even if the particular sugar is sucrose from dates. Fourth, they contain nuts, so I am not allowed to send them to Martin’s school. Still, Martin loves them, and these days it’s not easy to find a snack he loves. (He has long-since rejected previous choices like Go Raw! seed bars, raw macadamias, and jerky.) I would prefer that Martin pick Simple Squares over Lärabars. Martin picks Lärabars.
  • Pre-sprouted nuts and legumes. These can be found in the bulk aisles of health-food stores and Whole Foods Markets, and also packaged. My favorite brand is Living Intentions, which supplies a lot of those bulk aisles; I’ve had the opportunity to meet with representatives of the company, and they seem to be producing honest goods for the right reasons. Buying pre-sprouted saves me the trouble of soaking nut and legumes in FIJI Water and then drying them in my dehydrator. I wish more varieties would become commercially available, like navy and cannellini beans, or macadamia nuts and filberts.

As I said above, our grocery bill, for a family of three, is outrageous already; pounds of organic produce for juicing, meat from free-range animals, eggs laid in a yard, sustainably caught seafood, and raw-milk cheese (for when Adrian craves a bit) do not come cheap. Adding these commercial products feels like tacking a custom stereo to the cost of a luxury care—you stop and think, “Have I just gone overboard?” On the other hand, allowing myself the convenience of some prepared foods enables me to work outside the home, some, gets me more sleep, and helps preserve my sanity for the long, long haul that is autism recovery.

I would love to find more time to harvest my kombucha brew and to culture cashew cheese. I’d have to give something up to make that happen, and the thing I would give up would probably be—blogging.

And then what would we do?

Idioms All His Own

We had to wait a few years, and now Martin’s speech skills are finally progressing. He has trouble with more complex formulations, such as asking and answering “why” questions, or narrating a string of events, or using “did” plus the infinitive instead of the past form (“He did went.”). Other than that, he can express almost anything.

On the other hand, when I say Martin can express almost anything, there’s a qualifier: “in his own way.”

Sometimes he’s making up words. I go with it and use the correct term in return:

“Martin, I don’t want you writing on these piano keys.”

“No writing?”


“No marking?” (He means using a marker to write. That’s close.)


“No pencing?”

“Nope, no using a pencil.”

“No craying?”

“Nope, no using a crayon, either.”

Sometimes his formulation leaves me wondering, “What led him to that way of saying it?”:

“Martin, would you stop playing with the telephone?”

He’s in the bedroom, messing around with the bedside phone.


He keeps playing with the phone.

“Hey, get out of the bedroom.”

“Okay. I’m going to go to the room that’s written here.”

He points to the side of the phone, where “family room” is written on the extensions. Then he zooms away to the family room. Most people would have said, “I’m going to the family room,” right? Martin’s choice works just as well.

He likes to make comparisons. Some are natural and make a lot of sense, as when he asked me, “Am I going to have two [Anat Baniel Method] lessons with Miss Sharon today, just like I had two lessons yesterday with Miss Verena?” Or this morning, when he wanted to go to the basement and play the various musical instruments Adrian has relegated there: “I have many instruments in the basement, like a concert.”

Other comparisons—not so natural. Martin likes to drink a kombucha beverage with chia seeds. This morning I asked what he wanted to drink with his (neverending) breakfast. He responded, “I wanted kombucha with a group of seeds in it. Like a singing group.” Chia seeds like a singing group? Does he really think that, or is he experimenting with uses for the word “group”?

I suppose that, as his language continues to improve, Martin will speak more like other people. I’m trying to write down these little Martin-isms now, while we’ve still got them. They represent one more special mile in the recovery marathon.