It’s Like a Cruise Ship, But This Ain’t No Pleasure Cruise

I’ve expressed some frustration at feeling stalled lately. I’m looking for the leaps of progress we saw early in Martin’s recovery, when we sped from not sleeping to sleeping, from low muscle tone to good muscle tone, from lethargy to energy. Nothing so monumental has happened for a few months. Since before I started blogging, in fact.

For my own sanity, I need to talk about what’s heading in the right direction. We’ve got the answers to open-ended questions, as I posted yesterday. At Martin’s bedtime this evening, he and I exchanged a few words in a manner that mildly resembled a “How was your day?” conversation. His joint attention is flourishing; frequently he checks my face to see if I’m listening. (When he wants me to be listening, that is. Often enough he chats for his own amusement, no audience desired.) His relationship-understanding may have improved lately. He’s taking better notice—I won’t claim obedience—when I speak sternly (“No! No going in Mommy’s office.”). And earlier today, I took advantage of the Muppet Honkers performing “Honk Around the Clock” to make up a silly dance. Martin diverted his gaze away from Sesame Street (victory!) to me (victory!), understood that I was joking (victory!) and laughed (victory!).

Amidst these tiny successes, what bothers me is the big deal: the lack of general attention. Name responsiveness remains low for the moment, and Martin is rarely “with you” unless it’s a one-on-one situation. His teachers say he needs constant monitoring to stay focused in class. When he and I are playing, I find him about half the time talking to me, and about half the time just talking.

Over the past couple days I’ve sensed some inkling that the attention might be changing direction, maneuvering ever so slowly. It’s too soon, though, to get my hopes up, so I’ll just leave that notion on the table and follow up in a later post.

Remember the movie Titanic? Bill Paxton’s character Brock Lovett says something like, “The ship’s too big with too small a rudder. It doesn’t corner worth a damn.” We’re caught these days in oceanic currents of environmental toxins, EMF’s, chemicals, induced labor, processed mush disguised as food. And here come Adrian and I, trying to divert all that with our little toolbox of therapies, supplements, and organic foods.

It feels like steering a cruise ship with a rowboat paddle.

Bison Stew. I Have No Idea What the Heck I’m Doing

I made bison stew in the slow cooker. It’s photogenic. On the other hand, I think I must’ve let it stew too long. The meat is tough and the vegetables are falling apart. Made poor Martin eat it, anyway; don’t want to waste any meat. Anyone with advice on the proper way to cook meat stew—seriously, I Googled “How much water do I add to stew?”—please feel free to reply to this post or email findingmykid@yahoo.com and fill me in.

Got Questions? Martin Has Answers

Adrian reported yesterday that Martin has been giving substantive answers to questions. That’s not a skill I know Martin to have. Martin can repeat questions. He can respond yes or no to a yes-or-no inquiry. (That’s a recent development; Martin added “yes” to his vocabulary only this year.) He can express a preference when presented with two alternatives, such as, “Do you want to watch Ernie, or Big Bird?” And he can provide a concrete, expected response when presented with a known scenario—What song is this? Which instrument is this? But he cannot yet answer an open-ended question with various possible responses.

At least, I didn’t think he can. I was suspicious when Adrian said otherwise. According to Adrian, he had asked Martin, “What’s the name of a teacher at school who plays the guitar?” and got a name. He also had asked Martin, “What did you do today with Miss Jenny [a babysitter]?” and got a response that involved the playground and a merry-go-round.

Lucky shots, I thought.

Still, I decided to test the claims. Samara was sick today, so I picked Martin up from school and took him for a walk. After suitable time had passed, I knelt to catch his attention.

“Martin! What did you do in school?”

Martin made eye contact and responded, “What did you do in school?”

“That’s right. Can you tell me what you did?”

“Gym.”

“Gym? You had gym? You went to the gym?” Gym. That’s a real answer. I was giddy.

Thus egged on, Martin expanded his answer: “Class—gym class.”

Gym class! Although I had no idea whether in fact Martin did have gym class today, those two words provided sufficient proof for my standards. Martin can answer questions. I wonder how long this has been going on.

I’m going to keep pushing the skill. Martin had better get himself ready for plenty of open-ended questions.

Heck, maybe by Christmas we can achieve something as advanced as nodding his head for yes.

Turkey Necks Have Vertebrae. This Is News

I am learning so much.

Today I learned that turkey necks separate easily at the vertebrae when cooked.

You, perhaps, already knew that turkey necks separate easily at the vertebrae when cooked.

I did not.

I suppose I never considered the issue. Never had occasion to.

Martin has become an eager drinker of the meat broth that is supposed to be so beneficial to him. He’s slurping several cups a day. Today I dragged out the super-sized slow cooker—as opposed to the regular-sized slow cooker for daily use (sigh)—and brewed my third batch of broth. The first two batches were beef-based. This time turkey’s number was up.

If animals have to perish for Martin’s recovery, I want to make sure, at least, that we exploit as much of each animal as possible. At the same time, I’ve been informed that nontraditional body parts make good broth. So during the week I visited a farmer and purchased a bag of fresh turkey necks.

(Discussing turkey sections with the farmer was one in a series of adventuresome conversations I’ve been having, right up to the limits of my own tolerance. I discussed methods of execution with a guy who kills ducks once a week. I interrogated a bison rancher about why his bison are transported to slaughter at another site. I got a five-minute lesson in cooking emu eggs, from an emu—shepard? rancher? farmer? What do you call a person who raises emus?)

I thawed the turkey necks overnight in the refrigerator, but they were still quite frozen this morning, so I plopped them into the slow cooker to let them thaw as the filtered water heated. After an hour I fished a neck from amidst the rosemary, cilantro, tarragon, celery, seaweed, broccoli stalks, and carrots. I set the neck on the cutting board I’ve reserved for meat and started chopping away, to no avail.

Now, I’ve seen plenty of (live) turkeys. I know that they can twist and fold their necks all sorts of directions. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have realized that the ability to shift the neck implicates the presence of vertebrae. I was not thinking clearly. I was thinking, “There’s a turkey neck on my counter.” I made a few more attempts at hacking, trying not to touch the flesh, then returned the turkey neck to the slow cooker. The illogical idea running through my mind was that a turkey neck must be one solid bone.

Yeah, I know.

A few hours later I wielded metal tongs to pull the by-now-tender meat from the necks as they bobbed around the slow cooker. To my surprise, the necks broke easily into pieces. Half-inch-long pieces. With a triangular bone inside each.

Oh, hey! Vertebrae! That makes sense.

Something about the presence of meat in my kitchen apparently makes me dense. Next time I’m using turkey necks, I’ll be better-informed.

Now, emu eggs. Lesson or no, that’s an escapade I’m not quite ready to undertake.

Kitchen News: An Update on the Hunt for a Food Processor with Glass Bowl

I amaze myself. I’m anxious to replace my food processor, which has a plastic (and, by now, cracking) bowl, because I think high velocity, blades, and heat are a recipe for chemicals from plastic to get into Martin’s food. What my anxiousness means in practice is that I’ve just managed to kill an entire morning searching for a food processor with a glass or stainless-steel bowl, with marginal success.

Between being on hold and actually conversing with a representative, I spent half an hour on the phone with Robot Coupe. That company sells numerous commercial models with stainless steel bowls (though the feed shoots, pushers, and blade components may contain plastic). The only models possibly appropriate for home use, according to the representative, are the R100, which has a plastic bowl, and possibly the R2N Ultra, which has a metal bowl (some other parts plastic), weighs 36 pounds, and sells for more than $2,300.

Another option is an Electolux, the Dito Dean MUGXU, with 3.2-quart stainless-steel bowl, a commercial model nonetheless small enough for countertop use. But at 35 pounds (how can I store that?) and more than $1,000, well . . . .

I’m hatching a new plan.

I use the food processor primarily for puréeing and for getting rid of chunks in soup. My first thought was to get a glass container for my Vitamix, which resembles an extra-powerful blender capable of puréeing. Unfortunately, a call to Vitamix got me the bad news that, although the company has glass containers in the R&D department right now, none are expected to be available for at least a year. In the past, Vitamix manufactured stainless-steel containers, but those would not be compatable with my more recent model.

So for the time being I’m going to invest in a new stainless-steel immersion blender. I already have a KitchenAid blender with a glass jar, though it does have some plastic around the blade that comes in contact with food. I hope to use those two appliances to work around the food processor as much as possible.

For tomorrow evening I have broccoli-and-greens purée on Martin’s menu. Time to blend in batches and hope for the best.

ASD Recovery Cooking: Science Experiments in the Kitchen

Running with an idea I found in the GAPS book, I decided to start fermenting beans before Martin eats them, to improve digestability. Last weekend I soaked navy beans for 18 hours in double-purified water (I use Aquasana and Berkey filters), drained them, and rinsed with more double-purified water. Then I put the beans into a lead-free glass jar, covered them with double-purified water, and added a small amount of GI ProHealth non-dairy yogurt starter.

I sealed the jar, with the intention of leaving it sealed until this coming weekend, for a total seven days. Alas, the best-laid plans must wander astray. This afternoon, Samara, thinking the jar contained beans for fake hummus, popped it open, peered inside, and said, “Ugh, I don’t think these beans are good anymore.” I don’t know what effect, if any, the jar being opened will have on the fermentation process. I resealed it and now await the exciting outcome on Saturday. In the event that the experiment fails, I will try again next week—affixing a Do not open until Saturday! note to the jar.

ASD Recovery Recipe: Duck Nuggets

I said that I would not be posting any meat-based recipes. I hereby renege. Two nights ago I made my first meat recipe other than broth. Martin ate the food, without complaint. It hasn’t made him sick, yet. I consider this a giant success. So without further ado, here is my new recipe for recovery-beneficial duck nuggets. (If your child does not have chicken sensitivities, I have to imagine this works just as well for chicken.)

duck meat (I used the breast)
one duck egg
enough sunflour to coat
additional seasonings

Trim most of the fat from the duck and slice it into bite-sized pieces. Understanding duck to be somewhat tougher than chicken, I made the pieces small enough for Martin to pop into his mouth whole, instead of having to bite off chunks. Beat the egg. Brush each duck piece with beaten egg. Place in a bowl with enough sunflour to coat, plus spices of your choice. (I went with a dash of white pepper, plus some cumin for flair.) Stir well, until each piece is coated. Fry in oil of choice. (Sesame provides nice flavor; just make sure it complements your spices.)

I used duck egg when I made this, but because I was making such a small portion (Martin being the only human in our home who eats meat) I ended up with some beaten egg left over. Next time I may try beating a couple little quail eggs instead, to exercise more control over the amount of egg.

In the event you don’t have sunflour, and your child is okay with limited gluten-free grains, I think that crushed rice crackers or organic rice cereal might work well in place of the sunflourEdward & Sons brown rice snaps (unsalted plain) would be a good choice. Erewhon makes a gluten-free rice cereal, but if you are limiting carbs and sweeteners, note that the Erewhon product contains brown rice syrup.

What to do with the trimmed-off duck fat? The next night I fried turnip and squash in the fat and served those veggies with rice. I’m determined not to waste any animal parts.

It’s in There

I’m frustrated, insofar as I feel like we haven’t made any significant progress since mid-summer or so. Things are trending upward, yes, since the bad month of September. Still, I feel stalled. Anxious. I wonder whether we will meet our goal of making Martin neurotypical by age six or so. I wonder whether we will ever meet our goal.

Adrian is quick to point out that I may be too close to the situation. We have made progress, he says. Martin’s proprioceptive awareness has improved, to the point where he consistently looks downward when descending stairs. And just this weekend Martin demonstrative excellent pacing, walking at our speed while holding hands with us, stopping when we stopped.

That’s all true. But I see continued—even, perhaps, increased—echolalia. I see lower name responsiveness than over the summer. I even see some scratching and messy visits to the potty, signs of yeast overgrowth. Yeast! I thought we were done fighting yeast months ago.

In times like these, I take comfort where I can find it. Adrian and I had the opportunity last week to speak with Martin’s school instructors. His speech therapist said this: “Martin has his good days and his bad. Some mornings I feel like I’m not reaching him at all. Other mornings he comes in, greets me by name, and sits down, ready to work.” That reflects our experience at home. Some afternoons Martin flits from toy to book to floor to window, unable to settle, deaf to his own name. Other afternoons he plays contentedly with his Thomas trains assembled on the coffee table, indistinguishable (except for limited language) from a typically developing peer.

That’s the comfort. So long as Martin sometimes behaves like other three-year-olds, even if it happens only when the blue moon rises, I know he has that capability. I know that the attention and sociability and self-awareness exist within him, and that the only hurdle is discovering the combination to unlock those skills.

I gaze upon him and think: Neurotypicality. It’s in there.

The A-ha Moment: Part One

Parents of spectrum kids fit into three rough categories:

  1. Haven’t heard of biomedical recovery / think biomedical recovery is quackery. These parents may rely on behavioral therapies, sleep assistance, or pharmaceuticals to cope with ASD, but they don’t make special efforts regarding diet or medical interventions.
  2. Are doing some biomedical work. These parents buy into those limited biomedical processes that “studies have shown” to help, such as the GFCF diet or oxytocin hormone, but they don’t do the whole DAN! protocol or anything else considered radical.
  3. Have dived headlong into recovery. Obviously, I fit into this category. Let’s call me, and others like me, the “don’t care if it’s been proven, as long as it’s not going to hurt” crowd.

I’ve tried to emphasize in this blog that, although Adrian and I are in Category No. 3, I’m not anti-Category No. 1 or -Category No. 2. To the contrary, I know that we’re all trying to do what’s right for our kids. I am yet to meet the parent who says, “I don’t think biomedical recovery works, but I’ve decided to put my family through all that the process entails, just for kicks,” or, “I think that biomedical recovery works, but I’d rather not recover my son.” Parents love their children and come to their own decisions on issues as sensitive as treating autism. I—especially given my experience with Martin’s birth, when my wishes were not respected—honestly, wholeheartedly, and unreservedly respect those decisions.

As for me and Adrian, we skipped Category No. 2. We jumped from Category No. 1 straight to Category No. 3, and we did so within less than one week. Over a series of three posts (and maybe a postscript), each titled “The A-ha Moment,” I’m going to describe what prompted such a rapid transformation.

It was early September 2010, thirteen months ago, when Adrian and I first suspected that Martin’s development might be not only slow, but beyond the normal range of variance one expects in toddlers. In October, our friend, an EI professional upstate, evaluated Martin and said, informally and unofficially, that his condition looked like autism. By November, New York State (which does not use the “autism” epithet on young children) had labeled Martin “PDD” and accepted him into EI. (In spring 2011, the Big Imposing Hospital’s pediatric neurodevelopment department confirmed what was clear to everyone else and gave the official diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder.)

From October 2010 until February 2011, Adrian and I were Category No. 1, to the side of “haven’t heard of biomedical recovery” more than “think biomedical recovery is quackery.” I think I knew vaguely that some controversy existed over the actress Jenny McCarthy and whether her son had recovery from autism, or whether he’d never had it in the first place. (I could not then, and still cannot, identify this actress by sight, or name any role she’s played. I’m not much of a television or movies person. I do, however, now know Jenny McCarthy to be an activist in favor of treating ASD biomedically.) In any event, I had heard, and I believed, that behavioral therapy, and specifically ABA-based therapy, provided the best hope, or even the only proven method, for making progress against autism. We got Martin behavioral therapy. We got him hours and hours of behavioral therapy daily: two hours of home-based ABA, two hours of center-based ABA, 30 minutes of speech therapy, 30 minutes of occupational therapy, 30 minutes of physical therapy.

(Before I write anymore, I must say that all this was provided by New York State. I am deeply grateful to live in a state that values Early Intervention and provides this level of service to children with developmental delays. Without a doubt, EI makes a great difference for a great many children.)

Martin made some initial gains with all this therapy. He sat still longer. He sometimes responded “yes” to questions, instead of repeating the inquirer’s last words. But several issues persisted that seemed more medical than psychological. For example, lethargy often overcame Martin, and he lay on the floor, absentmindedly pushing a toy. He bent at the waist and pushed his hands into his distended belly as if he was experiencing gut pain. And then there was sleeping. Sleeping was, pardon the pun, a nightmare. Martin almost never slept through the night. It could take him 90 minutes or two hours to fall asleep, and usually spent three or even four hours awake between 11:00 p.m. and 5:30 a.m.

It bears mentioning that Adrian and I are lawyers, are fussy and aggressive, and are used to getting what we want. We wanted Martin to improve. Adrian read a lot during the early months after Martin’s diagnosis, mostly mainstream sources like books on behavior. He learned that a gluten-free diet seemed to help some kids on the spectrum, though (from what he’d read) no one was sure why. We resolved to try phasing gluten out of Martin’s diet in January.

We did, indeed, begin phasing out gluten in January, but we never finished the process. Or more accurately stated, we finished phasing out gluten in the context of doing a whole lot else.

That is, in mid-January, Adrian handed me an article he’d printed from the internet. From a mainstream source, a reasonably well-known doctor who reports on medical issues.

The article told the story of a six-year-old boy who, four years earlier, had regressed into autism and become non-verbal.

The boy had recovered.

You would never know, the article stated, that this boy ever had autism. He was now bright and engaging, and a typical grade-schooler.

The article was not long. With only bare-bones analysis, it spoke of “triggering” factors, and how finding what’s triggering autistic symptoms can help to reverse them. This hit-or-miss approach, though painstaking, could offer new hope for the estimated 1-2% of American children with ASD.

To me, the article, the story of the recovered boy, made eminent sense. The light bulb flickered. Autism did not just happen to my son. Something caused, something was still causing, him to have these medical symptoms, which in turn were tied to the developmental delay.

I tacked the article onto the bulletin board in my home office and went to Adrian.

“There’s something we’re missing,” I said, without a trace of doubt. “There’s something more we can do.”

In that moment we left Category No. 1.

Parenthood=Worry. I Can’t Say Anything to Change That. I Don’t Want To, Either

As I’ve mentioned, Adrian and I have chosen to reveal Martin’s autism only on a limited basis. We tell intimate friends and confidants, and also other parents with children around Martin’s age, who can easily spot the differences in his development.

There are a few exceptions, mostly persons who ended up somehow in the “need to know” circle or who found out coincidentally. My hairdresser, whom I visit four or five times a year, fits this latter category. I don’t even remember how anymore—I may have accidentally given the real reason when I had to move a hair appointment for one of Martin’s therapy sessions—but she knows that Martin gets special attention for developmental delays. Not specifically autism. “Developmental delays.”

She also has recently had a child herself, a baby boy.

I got my hair cut this week. The hairdresser and I chatted superficially. After a while she asked after Martin. I said he’s in a new school, and it’s going well, and he’s so big, and yes, he’s getting better. The usual. I concluded quickly and tried to push the conversation toward Will and Jada Pinkett Smith’s home design choices, which were featured in the Architectural Digest in my lap.

“It’s heinous,” my hairdresser responded as I pointed to Mrs. Smith’s meditation room. “How often do you think they use that room?” Then she lowered her voice and leaned toward me. “So, like, how did you figure it out? I mean, what should I be looking for?”

I stiffened. “Oh, just, you know.” Pause. “Just—you know. We noticed that he couldn’t do things that other kids could. He repeated what we said, instead of making up new sentences. Stuff like that. Look, there’s a cat in the meditation room.”

“So when did you start seeing he was different? Was it right away?” She kept angling for information, for the harbinger of whether her son too would bear the curse of “developmental delay.”

I have no desire, none at all, to serve as neurotypicality guidepost or cautionary tale. I am hoping that my readers take encouragement from Martin’s progress toward recovery. As to the other end of this journey, however—as to our discovery of Martin’s ASD and its subsequent diagnosis—I do not want our experience exploited as example. I can’t fully explain why this is the case. Indeed, before we knew Martin had any disorder, I too sought guidance. I can remember asking my mother, regarding a severely autistic boy she knows, what the signs were and when his parents observed them. I worried about autism. Parents today worry about autism.

I think I’ve become jealous of those who have only the worry, not the reality. Now that Adrian and I belong to the subset of parents with autistic children, I’m more interested in helping those in the same boat, not in reassuring others that they won’t also be set adrift.

I suppose that’s not very nice of me.

But what would I tell a new parent, anyway? To get to three or four years old, and then stop worrying? Even I, with one three-year-old child, know parenthood doesn’t work that way. As soon as the fear of autism passes, another demon waits to take its place. I have a friend whose pleasant, engaging brother showed no signs of mental illness until his freshman year at a prestigious university, then plunged headlong into debilitating schizophrenia. I have an acquaintance whose son began at age nine to exhibit symptoms of depression and, despite every intervention and the unrelenting love of his family, took his own life as a teenager. There is no safety point. So why bother trying to relax?

Or conversely, why bother worrying?

Until you have to.

After fumbling for a minute or two, I told my hairdresser, “Oh, you’ll figure it out. You’ll be able to tell if anything’s not quite right. Don’t worry.

Then I held my magazine aloft and simply insisted she agree that the outside of Will and Jada’s house was as horrendous as the inside.

That was a much easier point to sell.